How Weird

I feel good today.

Complaint of the Day

Men need more naughty bits.

It’s not fair to have so many.

The Best Advice

The Weekend So Far

Producing excess mucus is
a good way to expel
my body of allergens but
is only serving to
piss me off.
What would my body care?
If it cared I
wouldn’t have a
uterus
with feelings.

I was driving for a while
I saw many signs
on the way down, but I
only paid attention
this time
to two, one said
Simple Divorce
the other,
Melons.

He told me,
in a way
that he missed me
without really saying
it, or actually
saying it better, more eloquently:
Your absence is felt.

My response was much less so
I could have said,
instead of
Ditto
“Yours is too,” or
“Yours too,” or
“Same”
which, while the latter would be
short
and kind of insincere-sounding, it
would still be better than
Ditto
But instead,
I said
Ditto
and now I am a jerk.

Who says ditto?
Accountants
Software
Pokemon
Jerks.

I wish
someone would run through a field
screaming for
me.

Once More, With Feeling

It hurts; the crisp springtime of
that new spark, that lightning
sensation,
the tingle
of a new kind of love
has broken upon me.

Funny folks are really glum on the inside.

I know.